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Snarkus Uninterruptus

The Perpetual Snark Machine

Created on 2001-01-17 12:21:08 (#43619), last updated 2009-11-19

41,256 comments received, 36,978 comments posted

Basic Info
Name:Trista Bentleytonfarthingwhallop, Snark Pudding
Location:Portland, Oregon, United States
Website:The Trista's Flickr

Contact:

trista@livejournal.com
Text Message
Bio






I used to be a sleep-deprived full-time State employee and part-time network administration student. Then I was a sleep-deprived full-time State employee and part-time network engineering student. After that I was a sleep-deprived Human Resources Admin at a staffing agency. Then I was a sleep-deprived admin at a consulting company. Now I am a sleep-deprived business analyst. You may have noticed a theme.

I get good grades, play well with others, and rarely run with scissors or lollipops. On the other hand, I am occasionally grumpy, unkind, difficult, and sarcastic. It's part of my charm, really. I try to limit myself to two of those things at any one time, but I don't always succeed. Sometimes I manage to avoid all of them at once, occasions that call for a donut at the very least. Krispy Kreme is my favorite, thank you.

I have more pet peeves than anyone I know. I also put up with a lot from people, so it all evens out in the end.
* * *

Please note: If you come into my personal journal and spam me with promos for your Spice Girls community (seriously, now, Spice Girls?!) or any other community, please be prepared for the written bitch slap you'll receive just before I ban you. I wouldn't want anyone to be surprised, 'kay? 'Kay. I am particularly uninterested in your OMG Please Pick Me Because I Need Validation From A Ratings Community crap. Keep your promos to yourself.





I am, according to [info]ilythia, the Goodwill Ambassador from Snowland.

Do you know what that sound is, Friendbot? That is the Shrieking Trista! If you don't believe me, just wait! She always grows louder when she's about to feed on human brains!
-- [info]ladytabitha

every time i read your journal lately, i am suddenly gripped with the need for pudding.
-- [info]bitchblossom

I heart you because you're snarktastic. You're Snarkus Uninterruptus!
-- [info]singleentendre

OH MY GOD

YOU HAVE JUST BEEN PROMOTED FROM FABULOUS FRIEND TO WORSHIPFUL IDOL. That is so fucking good I almost cried.
-- [info]princsscarmen, in reference to my mad songwriting skillz.
* * *


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.
-- Sydney J Harris



I am interested in more than 150 things. These are some of the things I've listed in the past but have taken out to make room for other stuff:

alice in chains, american bulldogs, beer, booze hats, butterflies, calligraphy, chai, cider, incense, jack russell terriers, kevin smith, my dogs, mystery science theater 3000, pastafarians, sherry, star trek, star wars, stone temple pilots, the beach in winter, the cure



Dislikes:32: anti-choice, back stabbing, bad spelling, bad writing, bigotry, bitterness, bob dylan, boredom, drama magnets, entitlement, faulkner, george w. bush, homophobia, hypocrisy, idiocy, ignorance, intolerance, jealousy, lack of imagination, mushrooms, negativity, nosiness, passive-agressive behavior, political correctness, poor grammar, prying, roaches, rudeness, small minds, stupidity, thoughtlessness, unwarranted arrogance
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Interests (149):

*shriek*, 80's music, aaron copland, accents, affection, american idol, andrew lloyd webber, animals, anne bishop, anticipation, art, attraction, autumn, baking, baths, battlestar galactica, beaded bijoux, beaded jewelry, beadedbijoux, beading, beads, beauty, being girly, belly button rings, books, boots, braids, britcoms, bubble baths, cake decorating, candles, cats, champagne, charm, cheese, chocolate, clarinet, classical music, comedy, compassion, confidence, correspondence, crafting, creativity, crocheting, cuddling, curiosity, dark fantasy, dark fiction, daydreaming, dogs, dreaming, duran duran, eddie izzard, elizabeth george, elvis, england, etsy, family, family guy, fantasy, fiction, firefly, flirting, flying spaghetti monster, george r. r. martin, get fuzzy, holst, house md, humor, imagination, indulgence, inspiration, intelligence, internet, jacqueline carey, jeeves and wooster, journals, joy, kissing, kissing in the rain, laughter, learning, leather, legs, letters, life, lists, livejournal, logic puzzles, long hair, love, made-up words, making things, melanie rawn, men, movies, music, musicals, mysteries, naps, nobilis, nose rings, owly, p. g. wodehouse, photography, piercings, playfulness, polyamory, rain, reading, red hair, redheads, roald dahl, romance, rossini, sarcasm, schadenfreude, scotland, sensuality, sex, sex shoes, shoes, simple pleasures, sleep, smallville, snark, storms, stretching, sytycd, tattoos, tea, television, thai food, the english language, the friendbots, thrillers, thunder and lightning, thunderstorms, traveling, tv, veronica mars, wales, warmth, welsh, wine, wisdom, wit, world of warcraft

External Services:

LJ Talktrista@livejournal.com
AIMthetristaAIM status
ICQ376134268ICQ status
Windows Live ID jacqui.holland@hotmail.comLJ Messenger Status: offline

Schools:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - Hogsmeade, Scotland - Highland, United Kingdom
England Air Force Base Elementary School - Alexandria, LA (1978 - 1980)
RAF Lakenheath Elementary School - Lakenheath, England - Suffolk, United Kingdom (1980 - 1984)
Cherokee Elementary School - Eglin Air Force Base, FL (1984)
Longwood Elementary School - Shalimar, FL (1984 - 1985)
Meigs Middle School - Shalimar, FL (1985)
Addie R. Lewis Middle School - Valparaiso, FL (1985 - 1986)
Hobbs Middle School - Milton, FL (1986 - 1987)
Milton High School - Milton, FL (1987 - 1991)
University of West Florida - Pensacola, FL (1991 - 1992)
Pensacola Junior College - Milton Campus - Milton, FL (1992 - 1994)
Tallahassee Community College - Tallahassee, FL (1999 - 2000)
Keiser College - Tallahassee - Tallahassee, FL (2002 - 2004)
Aveda Institute - Minneapolis - Minneapolis, MN (2008 - 2009)
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